I Don’t Want to Lose My Siblings

I have been in foster care now for the past three years. My journey in the system started back when my younger brother and sister and I were removed from our parents. After we were removed, we were initially placed together but, as in most cases, we eventually were separated because the county could not find a foster home willing to take all three of us. I had spent the last nine years caring for my brother and sister, so being separated from them was the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life.

Compared to so many other stories I’ve heard, our situation was not that bad. Even though we were separated, my siblings and I at least were allowed to communicate and still visit with each other on a regular basis. You might even say that everything worked out for the best as I was able to remove myself as a mother figure in my siblings’ lives and just be their sister.

I have been with the same foster family for the past three years now and I have a wonderful relationship with them. Soon I will be moving into the independent living program to learn how to be more self sufficient. My little brother and sister have been with the same foster parents now for three years, too.  Those foster parents will be finalizing their adoption this month.

While I maintain a good relationship with my siblings and I am very excited they are going to be able to have a family that I never had, I sometimes worry that their parents will one day move away, or just decide that they don't want to keep in contact with me anymore – even if this isn’t what my brother and sister would want. Now, these wonderful people have never given me any reason to think this would happen, but still, that uncertainty is out there.

That’s why I support legislation pending in Harrisburg that would eliminate that uncertainty for kids in foster care about to adopted into new families. Senate Bill 1360 would allow birth and adoptive families to enter into post adoption contact agreements to help family members maintain relationships – even after an adoption.

If I knew that it would be my right to maintain contact with my brother and sister even after they were adopted, I’d be able to let go of this lingering fear of losing the only consistent relationship I have ever had. But perhaps most important, I could be happy for them knowing they are happy and all the worry would go away.

You can learn more about this legislation at:

http://www.porchlightproject.org/public_policy.shtml

Marie Acevedo-Smith is 19 and lives in Lehigh County